Building Emotional Intelligence For A Better Relationship

You may be on thin ice with someone you care about because of something you said or did impulsively. Your emotions got in the way. It is not until right after you do something wrong that you feel guilty about it…

Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important?

You may be on thin ice with someone you care about because of something you said or did impulsively. Your emotions got in the way. It is not until right after you do something wrong that you feel guilty about it. You may have had repeated incidences of letting your emotions get the best of you.

To avoid any emotional pain to yourself or others, it is time to develop emotional intelligence. This is when you recognize your emotions as well as learn how to control them. You are able to use empathy to see what your loved one is feeling, making sure that you do not say or do anything to offend them. If you are aware of the strength of your emotions, you will know when the time is to lessen their intensity at appropriate times. Emotional intelligence is key to maintaining your relationships during good and bad times.

Here is what you need to know about building emotional intelligence for a better relationship. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Know Who You Are

Knowing your personality traits and your go-to emotions are beneficial in getting an idea of how you come across to others. Maybe you are quick to feel insulted whenever your friends joke around with you. Or you could come off as passive when something bothers you.

Self-awareness is important in emotional intelligence. Know about your strengths and what triggers your emotions. For example, your strength may be that you are good at making fun of yourself. But, triggers for negative emotions could be when someone disagrees with you about politics. Being aware of who you are is a good way to keep your emotions in check.

Breathe in Each Situation

If you are prone to anger, this could get you into trouble with your loved ones. Raising your voice every time someone disagrees with you or pokes fun at you will only cause you to lose them.

Whenever you feel like getting angry at someone, take a deep breath. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective and think if they mean any harm.

For example, instead of getting angry at someone for joking about your appearance, take it with a grain of salt. If this person has been your friend for a while, you should know that this person’s intention is not to hurt you. Even if you do not change your mind, at least you gave yourself time to think about the situation.

Practice Empathy

Emotionally intelligent people have an idea of what the other person is feeling based on their facial expressions and body language. When your loved one is telling you something bad that happened to them, put yourself in their shoes.

For example, your friend may have just gone through a breakup. If you continuously keep talking about your successful relationship to them or in front of them, this can trigger that person back to memories of their previous relationship.

Think of how you would feel if you were in your friend’s position. You would not want someone rubbing in your face their success when you are hurting. Remember, your friends do not always need to tell you how they are feeling. Just take a good look at their facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

Be Open to Feedback

Consider the feedback that others give you about your actions and words. If someone tells you that you are too opinionated, think hard about what they can mean before getting defensive. The same can be said if someone says to you that you never look them in the eye.

You can use this feedback to improve yourself with all of your peers. This can give you the chance to apologize to others or adjust your actions. If you are still struggling with using emotional intelligence, we are here to help guide you through this new journey.


Medically Reviewed by Jack Hazan

Jack Hazan, MA, LMHC, CSAT, is a Licensed Professional Counselor who earned his Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling from The University of New York. With a passion for helping individuals navigate life’s challenges, Jack has honed his expertise in various areas of mental health. He specializes in providing compassionate and effective treatment for challenges with relationships, intimacy, and avoidant behaviors associated with adult childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, codependency, addiction (including excessive behaviors related to sex, porn, and apps), LGBTQIA+ identity exploration, as well as impulsive behaviors (including ADHD).


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