How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup?

Breakups are among the most emotionally challenging experiences one can go through. The pain, confusion, and longing that often accompany the end of a significant relationship can be overwhelming. At Modern Therapy Group in the heart of New York City, we understand the unique complexities of breakups and are here to help you navigate the healing process. In this article, we will delve deeply into the factors that influence how long it takes to get over a breakup and provide comprehensive guidance on your path to recovery.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

A breakup is akin to an emotional rollercoaster, and its duration is influenced by numerous factors, including:

  • Length of the Relationship: The longer you were together, the more intertwined your lives become, often requiring more time to heal.
  • Attachment Style: Your attachment style in relationships, whether secure, anxious, or avoidant, significantly impacts how you cope with separation.
  • Support System: The strength of your support system, including friends and family, can either expedite or slow down the healing process.
  • Personal Resilience: Your inherent ability to bounce back from adversity plays a substantial role in how quickly you recover.

The Grieving Process

It’s essential to recognize that after a breakup, you will experience grief. This process may include stages such as:

  • Denial: Initially, you may have trouble accepting that the relationship has ended. You might find yourself hoping for reconciliation.
  • Anger: Feelings of anger, often directed at your ex-partner or even yourself, are not uncommon.
  • Bargaining: You may attempt to negotiate with your ex or seek ways to undo the breakup.
  • Depression: Feelings of sadness and despair can set in as the reality of the breakup sinks in.
  • Acceptance: Over time, you will reach a point where you can accept the end of the relationship and begin to move forward.

It’s important to understand that healing is not a linear process, and it’s entirely normal to revisit these stages as you work through your emotions.

Self-Care and Healing

Taking care of yourself during this difficult time is crucial. Consider implementing the following self-care practices:

  • Therapy: Seeking professional guidance can provide you with valuable coping strategies, a safe space to express your emotions, and insight into your thoughts and behaviors.
  • Exercise: Engaging in regular physical activity releases endorphins, which can help improve your mood and reduce stress.
  • Healthy Diet: Proper nutrition is essential for supporting your emotional well-being.
  • Mindfulness: Practices such as meditation and deep breathing exercises can help reduce stress and anxiety, promoting emotional healing.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

While navigating a breakup, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy habits or behaviors that can impede your healing process. Be mindful of:

  • Isolation: Isolating yourself from friends and loved ones can worsen feelings of sadness and loneliness. Maintain social connections.
  • Rebound Relationships: Rushing into a new relationship may hinder your healing journey as unresolved emotions can resurface in new connections.
  • Suppressing Emotions: Ignoring or bottling up your feelings can prolong the healing process. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions.

Seeking Professional Help

If you find it exceptionally challenging to cope with the aftermath of your breakup or if the emotional pain persists, seeking professional help is a proactive step toward healing. At Modern Therapy Group NYC, our experienced therapists specialize in breakup recovery. Through evidence-based therapies, you can gain valuable insights, learn effective coping mechanisms, and work toward a brighter future.

Call Modern Therapy Group Today!

Are you currently struggling to move forward after a breakup? Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Contact Modern Therapy Group NYC today to explore how our therapists can provide expert guidance and support tailored to your unique needs.


Can therapy genuinely help me get over a breakup?

Absolutely. Therapy offers a structured and supportive environment where you can process your emotions, gain valuable insights into your thoughts and behaviors, and develop effective coping strategies.

How long is the typical healing process after a breakup?

The duration of healing after a breakup varies significantly from person to person and depends on a multitude of factors, including the length of the relationship, your personal resilience, and the support system you have in place.

Should I cut off all contact with my ex immediately?

In many cases, limiting contact with your ex in the initial stages of a breakup can provide you with the space and emotional clarity needed for healing. However, each situation is unique, and therapy can help you navigate this decision.

Is it normal to still have feelings for my ex after a breakup?

Yes, it is entirely normal to have lingering feelings for your ex-partner after a breakup. Emotions don’t always disappear immediately, but with time and self-care, they can gradually fade.

What should I do if I can’t stop thinking about my ex?

Obsessive thoughts about an ex can be challenging to overcome. Therapy can provide you with strategies to manage and redirect these thoughts, helping you focus on your healing process and personal growth.


Medically Reviewed by Jack Hazan

Jack Hazan, MA, LMHC, CSAT, is a Licensed Professional Counselor who earned his Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling from The University of New York. With a passion for helping individuals navigate life’s challenges, Jack has honed his expertise in various areas of mental health. He specializes in providing compassionate and effective treatment for challenges with relationships, intimacy, and avoidant behaviors associated with adult childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, codependency, addiction (including excessive behaviors related to sex, porn, and apps), LGBTQIA+ identity exploration, as well as impulsive behaviors (including ADHD).


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