Regardless of the love we have for our partners, not everything will be perfect all of the time. Despite what movies and books may lead us to believe, sometimes, we get into disagreements with the people that we love.
Getting into an argument with your partner does not mean that you two no longer care about one another. In fact, arguments can be incredibly productive. It all depends on how you communicate with one another when you are angry. But how do you do so effectively? Frankly, this is a skill every couple should learn sooner or later, and I am happy to give you some tips and tricks. Keep reading to learn more.
Take some time to cool down
In the heat of the moment, you may not be able to truly understand your thoughts. Although at the time of an argument, you may really want to hash everything out, it is best to take a deep breath. You can begin to center yourself so that you can analyze your feelings and understand how you really feel.
Discover the real reason behind your anger
If you are angry, the obvious answer may simply be that your partner did something to upset you. Anger, however, may have a secret hidden cause. Sometimes, our partner simply tested our buttons. Other times, there could be a hidden meaning beneath your anger.
Are you truly upset that your partner did not put away the dishes? Or do you simply feel as if they do not contribute to household chore responsibilities? Once you discover the true reasoning behind your anger, you can begin to work on the root cause.
Be clear about your feelings
Sometimes, we may tell a white lie to spare the feelings of those we love. When attempting to resolve an argument with your partner though, you should be very open and honest about how you are truly feeling. If you do not speak your mind now, there may come a time when this specific argument comes up again. Communicating your true emotions now is the best way to prevent this issue from happening again in the future.
Additionally, be sure that you are not trying to convey your feelings by being passive-aggressive. Beating around the bush and evading how you really feel simply causes unnecessary stress. It only punishes you both.
Monitor what you are communicating without your words
You may try to hide your anger. Our bodies, however, will eventually betray us and reveal our true feelings. If you are having a heated debate with your partner, be sure that your tone of voice and body language are still speaking in a way that conveys the love you have for them. Even if you are incredibly angry, you should still uphold your partner with love and respect.
Focus on a solution
At the end of the day, you and your partner are a team. Regardless of how you may feel at the current moment, finding a solution to the issue at hand is priority number one. Rather than bickering back and forth over semantics, it is important to focus on a true solution.
Sometimes, the solution may be to rope in an outside hand. Seeking couples counseling from a trained mental health professional is a step the two of you can take to strengthen your relationship.
Getting help from a counselor is not a sign of failure in your relationship. It simply shows you both are committed to one another and want your relationship to be the best it can be. We specialize in assisting couples to navigate their partnership. Reach out today to schedule an appointment for couples therapy.